There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
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Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
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The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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