Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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