let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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