don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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