And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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