This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize