Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize