And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize