Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
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I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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