if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
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Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
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His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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