He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
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I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
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Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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