evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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