You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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