I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
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