Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
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Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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