Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize