Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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