If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize