I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I am mentally ready for anal.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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