I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize