I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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