this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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