literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize