That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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