So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize