Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You smell like stripper and shame
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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