I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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