i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize