Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
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St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
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Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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