ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
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He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
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Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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