Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize