I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize