pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize