Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize