I wish my penis had an off switch
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
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