we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize