It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize