I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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