Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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