would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize