im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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