Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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