last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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