my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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