when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize