just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
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This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
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I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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