WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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