My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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