I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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