So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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